Domestic violence in Russia: till death do them part; Following a high-profile murder, experts once again say that new legislation is needed

(Moscow News – themoscownews.com – Natalia Antonova – January 21, 2013)

“The breaking point came when he stuffed my head into a toilet bowl and tried to make me drink the water,” Daria, a petite brunette in her mid-30s, told The Moscow News. “He claimed that something I had said to him made him feel humiliated ­ and he had to humiliate me in return.”

Like many domestic abuse survivors in Moscow, Daria, who asked that her last name not be published, had only herself to rely on when she realized she had to leave her husband. “He rarely left bruises ­ and I knew that without any evidence, the police couldn’t do much,” she said. “Thankfully, we didn’t have kids together, or it would have been harder [to leave].”

Since it was revealed on Jan. 11 that Moscow restaurateur Alexei Kabanov killed and dismembered his wife, journalist Irina Cherska, the problem of domestic violence has once again been in the news in Russia. The shocking incident generated a wave of discussion on social networks about the causes of domestic violence in Russia ­ and what could be done about it.

Today, domestic abuse is not specifically mentioned in the Criminal Code ­ and this means that reliable data on the problem are hard to come by. A 2009 report by Amnesty International claimed that a woman dies at the hands of an intimate partner or close relative every hour in Russia, but experts say more research is needed.

“There was a [Interior Ministry] report in 2003 that said about 9,000 women were killed by their partners or relatives [in Russia] that year ­ but getting reliable data is like casting runes right now,” a Moscow police official who did not wish to be identified told The Moscow News. “New legislation would enable us to classify domestic violence cases as such.”

“We expect a first hearing of the law on domestic violence to be held at the State Duma in February,” said Public Chamber member and activist Olga Kostina at a press conference on domestic violence last week.

Society in denial

Although Kabanov’s case highlighted the fact that domestic abuse can happen to virtually anyone, it is still a taboo subject for many people ­ and victim-blaming is rampant. Daria, who has been following Kabanov’s case online, noted that his Facebook page “has been flooded by comments blasting Irina for staying with a monster.”

Vera Akulova, a member of the Moscow Feminist Group and a domestic abuse survivor, believes that misogyny is to blame for the problem. “In our society, we don’t trust women who become victims ­ and want to exonerate the abuser,” she said. “Many women who have issues with internalized misogyny lash out at the victim first.”

Cultural traditions

Russian women are traditionally referred to as “keepers of the family hearth,” i.e. the parties that are responsible for keeping the family together, and are often encouraged to make enormous sacrifices to keep their marriages afloat.

One survivor who did not wish to be named told The Moscow News of her harrowing experience of being hospitalized following escalating attacks from her husband ­ and her relatives’ apathy when confronted with it. “My father asked me right away if I was having problems with my husband ­ and told me that he wouldn’t get involved in another family’s affairs,” she said. “My mother was telling me that I was provoking him, that I’m a difficult woman.”

“This is typical victim-blaming, practiced by people who either are violent themselves, or who have been victims in the past and have decided that you must ‘show patience and wisdom’ [when dealing with an abuser],” she added.

Furthermore, citizens are simply loath to get the authorities involved in their private affairs. “This is why when we call for new legislation on abuse, there rises up a populist howl,” Kostina said. “People think we’re trying to destroy the sacred institution of the family.”

Blackmailed and alone

According to Maria Mokhova, director of the Sestry Center, which specializes in aiding victims of violence and rape, only a woman with an official Moscow residence stamp in her passport can gain admittance to the city’s small municipal domestic violence center, Nadezhda. Meanwhile, foreigners and transplants from other parts of Russia often find little sympathy from the police and are vulnerable to manipulation.

Irina Cherska was a citizen of Ukraine, for example, which allowed her husband to pressure her. “A friend of hers wrote me, telling me that Irina was planning to get a divorce in the last month,” psychologist Gennady Chichkanov, who had worked with Cherska, told Komsomolskaya Pravda Radio. “He told her that if she leaves him, she will get deported and their [three] kids will stay with him.”

Might is right

Akulova believes that ultimately, domestic abuse is another example of how society refuses to confront the culture of violence in Russia.

“We try to separate domestic abuse from, say, torture in police precincts, but considering the prevalence and tacit acceptance of both, it becomes obvious that what we are dealing with is the general normalization of violence and force,” she said. “When you begin to unpack [the issue of domestic abuse] you see that it exemplifies the notion that ‘might is right,’ which is society’s governing principle.”